I often take photos between a whole lot of doing things. They can end up sitting in lists of photographs on my computer. Like a little gallery with no front door. So that is the main reason I have my blog, so that they may see some light, somewhere through a screen. Otherwise, it does feel kind of pointless. My friend Ivy described tonight how she'd be happy to sit in a room and draw all day for no one but herself. She said she'd just "enjoy the way light falls".
And I thought... hmmm... (firstly, you are one crazy lady).. Then... Well, I'm not like that. As soon as I'm enjoying it I'm working out a way to photograph it, draw it, describe it, blog it...
Is this a bit tragic or a bit beautiful?
I'm definitely a voter for 'enjoying the moment' yet this act seems to reek of trying to hold desperately on to something that will fade or end. It seems like I am reaching out for immortality. Like I'm stealing the present to keep it forever. This is maybe why I cry when things are so bloody beautiful - because there is a bittersweetness, knowing that the beauty will be gone. Light changes, things move on.... things decay.
So I (as per analytical-self would) reflected on this recently.... tragic or beautiful Nat?
And I decided that it wasn't so much for ME to hold on to, but it came down to wanting to share it. It's not about claiming it as mine, taking ownership, it's just me wanting you to see what I am seeing (or feeling!)
So I'll just continue on with this innate need in me to photograph constantly.
Here are some of those 'between moments' shots from the past 3 weeks.
[current mood] Challenging Wine & Jackson 5