I went to a ten day vipassana meditation course on boxing day.

Ten days of silence, introspection, all focus on meditation and learning the technique of vipassana.

We meditated from 4.30am til 9pm with few breaks. We lived like nuns. We didn't look each other in the eye. We were there because we are seeking enlightenment. We knew why we were doing this and it was this willpower that helped us through.

Vipassana meditation is non-religious, does not focus on any external being, object or vision. Instead the technique is about the observation of sensation on the body, with a balanced mind - without craving or aversion. The theory is that we react subconsciously to sensations and that is what causes emotion and ultimate misery. If we can observe these reactions on the body then we do not emotionally engage with them and eventually they disappear. This is the real-living-experience of impermanence.

This would be the hardest thing I've ever done and I have been meaning to go for 9 years. I worked up to this point, I meditated, I grew my wisdom, I practiced, I worked, and still, being at vipassana was the hardest thing I've ever done. And the greatest.

We aren't meant to visualise, but it seems an automatic process for my mind to feel sensations in pictures. I thought I'd share the progress of my experience.

A mind full of jaggered thoughts, leap-frogging, chaotic and unreliable.

 

Slowly the mind quietens to single thoughts you can see and dismiss.
Other unpleasant sensations on the body begin to show up, heartburn, sore shoulders, gallbladder pain.
But I can focus my awareness on the breath coming out of my nostrils and on to my upperlip.

 

I travel across my body and the pains become more severe, the pleasurable vibrations become more prominent. I am starting to be able to feel every inch of my skin.
The strangest sensations come out, then fade away. Each one a reaction I have 'let go of'.

 

I feel like a galaxy, shooting star sensations, electrons all over, subtle pains.
Observe Observe, do not react... I can feel my crown tingle the most.

 

At the end the sensations expand, they lift off the skin and I can send them out to others around me.

This only lasted a couple of days, then I was all used up again.
I'd almost consider being a full time meditator to stay in this zone. Life just zaps the hell out of me. And for those that say 'you gotta live in the real world'... well, this real world isn't the real world at all.

I'm off to the bush again by myself to find my bliss.

Will write next from there......

x

[current mood] Mushroom Risotto & The Family Guy