An Instagram Love Story

I discovered Instagram a week ago, in a park, in Armidale NSW.

For those that are at least a week behind me, Instagram is a free smart phone ap that takes photos that you can apply a range of funky filters to including colour and focus effects AND geo-locate them and then share them with friends, following any number of people and their beautiful views of life!

As a sometimes-slack-photographer, I love using my phone and clicking to create effects. It's far more versatile than Hipstamatic which you know was my camera of choice in India and the USA!

Looking back through my week of Instagram photos, I realised that they tell the love story that occured concurrently...

I sat outside at the NERAM gallery cafe where I'd get my morning coffee and it was here that I took my first Instagram photo of a man reflecting.

My coffee was delivered by the owner, Rowan, and I showed him my photograph and put it on the cafe's Facebook page. We struck up a friendship consisting of shared nerdiness, beatles lyric quotes and an identical cutlery collection.

It was raining a bit and very chilly for December, so I wandered into the Museum of Print under the gallery.

I played with the letterpress to create a christmas card I imagined giving to friends. I could spend a week down here!

But the next day, Rowan asked me out.
We only have a week but 'why not', we both thought.

So we ate brilliant food together as much as we could.

We drank martinis and margaritas together when we could.
And sometimes apart - him working and me playing with Instagram.

We discovered a tiny rabbit at the cafe and I made a dozen new friends.

I followed him on errands as any time was good time

I picked flowers from his garden for glass jars we bought at the tip shop

I immersed myself in fresh produce and his housewarming party

We didn't get much sleep

I never made any more of those letterpress cards but nothing seemed more right than to rest the one print I did make against a vase of flowers on Rowan's porch.

It's almost Christmas and now my poem makes perfect sense.

So I'm contemplating Armidale and continuing a love story...

[current mood] Artichoke Hearts & The Beatles

Dissecting the Heart

I've often pondered where the heart shape comes from.

Doesn't look much like our blood pumping, fleshy organ.

Here are my thoughts:

A heart shape represents so much more than our heart. It represents love, the heart of our being.

The Heart Chakra

Our heart chakra isn't positioned where our heart is, instead it's in the upper middle of the chest.
This chakra is the energy centre of our openness - our ability to love and be loved.

As it is with all chakras, they are in the centre of our body. That's because we want to be symmetrical, balanced, with our energy coming from the core.

So the heart-shape is, likewise, symmetrical. It could represent our heart chakra.

The Act of Love

It dawned on me that the heart shape could also define the direction of giving love, and receiving love.

Like a topographic view of a hug.

We give love out, like out stretched arms. Then that process draws love back in, filling us.
There is no such thing as running out of love to give. Love is a bottomless cup.

I've been seeing heart shapes in lots of places lately. Here are some of them photographed.

"Love was not put in your heart to stay, love is not love til you give it away" - a fortune cookie I once had.

So I left a little love in my morning walk.

[current mood] Fish Cakes & Sneezing

From Blues to Bliss

Like an old log with hundreds of staples... I got into a bit of a blue state last weekend.

It resulted from going out to a club against my heart's desire and subsequently feeling like I was a) invisible b) ugly and c) unhappy.

I emailed a friend, my favourite knight in shining ink, who wordsmithed me back to a neutral level. I was reminded to NOT go to bars and expect any gratification and that I am beautiful to those that matter. This is not a space for me.

The next day the blues lingered as I walked by the lake to the farmers markets... but when I arrived I saw a friend holding beautiful roses and I thought 'I want!' so I went to the stall's man.
"Yellow for friendship" he said and then grabbed a bunch with a pink one in the mix. This made me happy. That's so me.

On the walk home I really saw the beauty of the lake, and instead of crossing the bridge, I walked down the slope and sat underneath it with my roses.

Rather than pass beauty by, I thought I'd take my glimpse into immersion.

The water was such an incredible teal.

The sky, an endless deep blue.

The distant sound of children giggling and dandelions skimming across the waters surface.

It caused me to shift. I suppose like a therapy, if you sit in beauty and observe, it starts to alter your mood.

I took this concept with me today, even though I was feeling pretty good.
I drove to a crochet class, following an urge I'd had for a while, I put all else aside and just went.

I loved learning something new with ol biddies whilst being given cups of tea
and being told I was very good for a beginner (always helps).

When I went to the van a man approached me to see if I wanted to sell it.
After ten minutes he had offered to teach me to surf and sail and I went on my merry way on a high.

I decided to take this vibe further and stopped at Cooroy Botanic Gardens which I had only heard about.

As soon as I walked in I saw two birds I'd never seen before. Unnoticed by other passers by.

Each step I gently took didn't seem to scare them. I couldn't believe how close they allowed me.
I had a little chat and whistle with them and then took a snap.

A tawny frogmouth I later find out.

And the beauty of everything in the park, people-less, came crashing into my heart.

I saw things I'd never seen.

A snowing white jacaranda

A cluster fig

I really wanted to analyse why I felt so good, how everything seemed to be so gorgeous and my life felt flowing.
I was afraid that if I thought too hard about it that it would slip between my fingers.

But I can't really help myself.

So my theory is that if you really do what your heart wants, in any moment, then life unfolds for you, just so, just beautifully.
And if you open your eyes to explore the space in which you heart is blooming, then this enhances the joy you feel.

Words never do convey the greatness of the experience, but I'm trying. And perhaps with pictures, you get more of the feeling.

Try it and see?

[current mood] Lettuce and Banana Smoothies & Marvin Gaye (ay!)

100 dolls, countless hearts!

 There's that little gap between pressing send on an email with an electronic PDF of a 200 page Indesign document and when it arrives in the mailbox to be unwrapped, revealing itself as a 3 dimensional glossy ex-tree smelling object!

I'm always impatient!

And it was a proud moment when I walked into the kitchen with my latest design in the pulp!

Here are some shots of the 100 Dolls, Countless Hearts book which I photographed and designed. You can see some of the 'making of' in my previous post Old chooks and dolls.

Buy it! It's inspirational, beautiful, just $30 and all proceeds go to orphans in South Africa.

As part of the design 'experience', I received many messages from the Uthando Project coordinator, Georgia Efford. She doesn't spare positive feedback when she's whipping me day and night with the most insane timeframe I've ever experienced! But I love Georgia's enthusiasm and relentlessly positive thinking.

Here are my favourites quotes of Georgia-inspiration that kept me going til the end.

"Jesus and all the apostles would be proud of you little miracle worker"

"I don't know truly how to thank you. Nat, it was way beyond the call of duty... and kept on being like that to the last gasp."

"Nat, you are a little humdinger, as my Dad would say."

"Nat, the book feels as if we are bringing some peace to the world."

"Absolutely thrilling Nat. I truly love your way of putting things together beautifully."

"You have accomplished marvels today Nat! xxx"

"You are most generous and are earning lots of Light Units"

"Hi Nat, the more i think about you juggling all these elements the more I love what you do and the can do attitude. In retrospect, the funniest thing was me confidently saying "Oh Nat we will have the text ready for you when you arrive!!!!!!!!!!" How did you cope with so much unknown all the time?"

That's my favourite. Real acknowledgement of the challenge. And that's what you want from clients. Awareness and appreciation.

And for such positive feedback, acknowledging my accumulating light units towards my ascension to heaven, I'd do it all again!

[current mood] detox high & the smell of yellow roses

I like to work with children and animals

at the same time.

I started off as a rock n roll photographer.
Then I moved onto arty stuff, nature and portraits of folk in the country.
Recently I took up the wedding photography with real heart.

Now, all too soon it seems, I'm working with babies and animals. It's only natural, since when they get married, they.... buy a puppy - and later have a baby...

Here are Sam and Stu my Brisbane buddies and their new creation, Toby.
(and Roxie the puppy too).

Honestly, you can't really make a bad photo of a cute little button like Toby!

Should I start another website called 'I heart babies'?

[current mood] Writing songs with a Chilean & Fresh Lemongrass Tea

Confessions of a Phlegmy Heart

Warning: This post is about mucus

I was lying in bed last night at the tail end of a little throat/chest immune-system breakdown, so you know, relieving myself of the build up.

And I began to contemplate the satisfaction of the cough up. I figured the joy is derived from the sense of release. It creates an opening, a new space in your chest - which just so happens to be the heart chakra.

It caused me to think of a particular relationship I had. (As phlegm would). Let's call him…. "Black Knight". A tall, dark and handsome Black Knight that descended on my life and lifted me up like a moon in his sky.

Like all twisted fairytales however, the ending was tragic, causing me to deny the good of ever having had Black Knight in my life.

Ever since, whenever I've spoken with a person of mystical power they look into my eye and go, "oh oh.. so sad so sad".
And I scramble for answers "What kind of sadness? A deep longing or a specific situation? Is it recent or is it  a past life sadness? Do I need to do life regression? Does it run really deep? But I don't know why I'm sad? Am I really sad? Tell me how to not be sad?"

The bugger is they can't actually answer my questions… except with "Don't worry. Be happy!"

"oh, okay, why didn't I think of that!!"

I've wondered whether this Black Knight has something to do with it. I'm over it, I think.

I then recalled my teacosy-knitting conversation with my neighbour from yesterday. She talked about the concept of having a soul mate and although that connection may be amazing and divine, you're not necessarily meant to be with them. They appear to show you your soul, to challenge the hell out of you, but a relationship with them will never be easy.

As I lie in bed pondering, it dawns on me that I have been denying this. I haven't actually mourned the loss of Black Knight as a true soul mate. I just tossed him into the tosser basket. Besides the terrible parts, we did have something I may possibly never experience again. It was rare and it is devastating that it has been and gone in my life. And yes, yes I am sad! I have been harbouring some phlegm in the bottom of my heart.  In that moment, I let go of all the resentment, relaxing my chest, I open myself up to the feeling of that goodness and acceptance…. and I release!

Luckily though it came in the form of tears.

Crying is like coughing up the phlegm of your heart.

Now all those Indian BS shamans, iridologist naturopaths and Ubud magic men can re-look in my eye and say "oh you so happy, so good, you free"!

[current mood] Hot Lemon Water & Caeser Milan Videos

Musings On Love 3

A funny thing happened on the way out of the supermarket...

You've heard it said that Eskimos have dozens of words for snow.
They are so familiar with it that they can characterise all its differences and give it names suited to its forms.

So if Eskimos can do that, why can't we do that with love? Where are our dozens of words?
I would have thought we were familiar with it by now and could identify it's many shades and tones.

Instead we just say "I love you".

Currently in my life I could say "I butterfly you" or "I lust you".
How about you?

[current mood] Brazillian Cherry Jam & Old Men Talking About War and Love

Musings On Love 2

For one of my best friends who has been asking this question.

On the phone we ask ourselves, "What is a sign that our love is real, that our love is right?"
Are we expecting the correct thing? Does love take time and if so, how much time?
What about those stories of 'I just knew in twenty minutes'? What about the giddy, chest-pulsating excitement? Do we need that?

So is love a feeling of falling, losing ourselves, near-instant knowingness?

Or do we learn and discover our love through time and energy and choice?

It appears there are no rules. It works differently for everyone at different times. I'm learning that I can't uphold my parents' story as the one that will be true for me. I can't even refer to my previous experiences as what works... as they didn't really....

But I do believe one thing. True love is an action, not a place we find ourselves in.

[current mood] Chaos Theory & Chocolate Pistachio Tart oh yeah.

Musings On Love

A little task for me.

Each day, upon waking, draw a musing on love and blog it.

It's inspired by The Artist's Way 'Morning Papers' which asks you to write stream-of-consciousness for half an hour each morning for 12 weeks. It's also been prompted by a friend mentioning a 'Draw every morning for 120 days' challenge on Facebook.

I'm combining. A drawing for my blog and a musing on whatever is rotating in the morning after sleep. Will do it for as long as I feel like it. It may be something that happened or it may be a philosophical ponder of mine. Let's see what comes forth!

[current mood] The idea of Flat Whites for breakfast, lunch and tea & Kings of Convenience

The Wheel of Life

A friend calls, she's over the moon, she's dreamy, she's ecstatic... life is good. Her life IS good.

Next week...
Same friend, things are crap, a pile of poo, she's down in the dumps... life is shit. Her life IS shit.

Now it's time to bring out the wheel of life illustration and let her have a spin.
See how easily each day can be different? See how possible it is to get any of these 9 emotional modes? The thing is, you have to spin it every day, there are no guarantees you will land on 'zen' every day. We can hope... yes, we can not drink, eat mungbeans, meditate and watch birds.. but some days you just spin shit.

That's life. And it's really important to remember that whatever you are feeling today is highly likely to be gone tomorrow and a new reality will present itself.

So I've made a printable version of the wheel of life, and I implore you, friends, to pin or tack it onto a stick and give it a whirl!

Click for the print-sized wheel of life

We gotta constantly remind ourselves of the wheel we're on.

I'd really love for someone to send me a photo of it, printed, cut out, stuck on a stick.. cause I don't have a colour printer to show you. Please do and email it to me grow@seedpod.com.au

Lots of love, ladies and gents.

x

[current mood] Potato Salad for Ten & People Singing Me Birthday Messages.