This is the creative home of Natalija Brunovs.
A blog is a reason to create.
A creation is a reason to blog.
To force oneself to create can force inspiration to occur.
These thoughts and images are from wanderings and workings as an artist, photographer, designer, community artsworker and lover.

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Entries in illustration (11)

Saturday
06Feb2010

Me Me Me

I've been meaning to post this illustration for a while.

And finally, sitting at my friend's outdoor table, I quickly sketched my experience after some lengthy ranting about the woman in question. It's what really happened between us when I was working for her.

There aren't too many people that really really get my goat, but this woman wins tops prize. I really tried to turn my hate vibes into love vibes, but have resorted to illustration-revenge!

I have been really working at the 'why do I attract people that talk AT me for hours' concept. I am seeing a very strong pattern in my life where I am interacting with these kinds. So far I've worked out that I'm a very active listener and invite it somehow, secondly perhaps I am meant to review my own talk-ability as one is often agitated by a trait they possess. This is still a work in progress.

But for now, the bitch gets it.

[current mood] Stu's Tacos & The Hives

Sunday
10Jan2010

Vipassana Meditation

I went to a ten day vipassana meditation course on boxing day.

Ten days of silence, introspection, all focus on meditation and learning the technique of vipassana.

We meditated from 4.30am til 9pm with few breaks. We lived like nuns. We didn't look each other in the eye. We were there because we are seeking enlightenment. We knew why we were doing this and it was this willpower that helped us through.

Vipassana meditation is non-religious, does not focus on any external being, object or vision. Instead the technique is about the observation of sensation on the body, with a balanced mind - without craving or aversion. The theory is that we react subconsciously to sensations and that is what causes emotion and ultimate misery. If we can observe these reactions on the body then we do not emotionally engage with them and eventually they disappear. This is the real-living-experience of impermanence.

This would be the hardest thing I've ever done and I have been meaning to go for 9 years. I worked up to this point, I meditated, I grew my wisdom, I practiced, I worked, and still, being at vipassana was the hardest thing I've ever done. And the greatest.

We aren't meant to visualise, but it seems an automatic process for my mind to feel sensations in pictures. I thought I'd share the progress of my experience.

A mind full of jaggered thoughts, leap-frogging, chaotic and unreliable.

 

Slowly the mind quietens to single thoughts you can see and dismiss.
Other unpleasant sensations on the body begin to show up, heartburn, sore shoulders, gallbladder pain.
But I can focus my awareness on the breath coming out of my nostrils and on to my upperlip.

 

I travel across my body and the pains become more severe, the pleasurable vibrations become more prominent. I am starting to be able to feel every inch of my skin.
The strangest sensations come out, then fade away. Each one a reaction I have 'let go of'.

 

I feel like a galaxy, shooting star sensations, electrons all over, subtle pains.
Observe Observe, do not react... I can feel my crown tingle the most.

 

At the end the sensations expand, they lift off the skin and I can send them out to others around me.

This only lasted a couple of days, then I was all used up again.
I'd almost consider being a full time meditator to stay in this zone. Life just zaps the hell out of me. And for those that say 'you gotta live in the real world'... well, this real world isn't the real world at all.

I'm off to the bush again by myself to find my bliss.

Will write next from there......

x

[current mood] Mushroom Risotto & The Family Guy

Thursday
07Jan2010

Things that my mind amuses me with

I ran towards the parking inspector issuing my car a ticket.
I'm sorry, I thought I'd be back in time,
it's just that I was, literally, pinned down!

Acupuncture is a bliss

and I drove away on my cloud.

[current mood] Organic Bananas & Goenka Chanting

 

Friday
20Nov2009

Naked Men and Mangoes

These are the two reasons I have come to Ubud, Bali.
I can feast on my favourite food (the mango), and indulge in life drawing!

Much Bali black tea and much pastel all over my face and clothes.

I was invited to join Peter Efford's life drawing retreat and stay at Pondok Saraswati (the goddess of artistic pursuit!)

This is the entrance that greets you into the compound.

The staff make offerings every morning in many a nook.

Orchids just grow and dazzle in sunlight.

This is the view from my room on to rice paddies accompanied with harhooing women scaring birds and a tapping windmill.

The drawing retreat is just me and two old blokes. I like our odd little posse. It's more intensive learning! We draw in the morning and spend the afternoon eating our way through Bali. We've imagined our experience as a movie and decided the underlying theme would be the pursuit of the best coconut icecream in Bali - and that would have to be the final scene but as the credits role we all end up in minor hilarious disasters contrary to the conclusions we had come to on the retreat.

Peter said to me a few days ago 'you can draw, you know that right?' and I thought, hmmm, Mr Positive Reinforcement understands how the mind works. Mine quietly glowed with this thought and the words repeat repeat and the belief generates. In the brain, the neural pathway of "I can draw" - simply - is strengthened. And that ugly barbed pathway that says "I cant draw" begins to fade. And soon enough I think I might just be good at this drawing thing.

I have improved a lot in a week. Even in one day I'll jump in leaps and bounds. Here are my first and second sketch of Gusti.

The first one had me enraged with it's horridness. I always see 'highschool' in my work. But the second, ooh, is that mine?
Then I did a third and worked it up in colour. It really looks like Gusti.

And yes, he may look like he's "watching his house burn down" (Pete!) but it's my first experiment with colour and I like to play.

We've been studying anatomy of the human figure. Using both conti pencils (made from blood did you know?) and also learning how to use pastels. Here are some studies.

I like the word 'studies' as it sounds so art-professional as well as taking the pressure off the work. It's just a little study...

We have gone to a popular life drawing studio called 'Pranoto's'. He's a Java man, an incredible life drawer. A group of ex pats and Indo art students sit around the edges of a room drawing/painting/watercolouring/texta-ing a model. I love walking around the room to see the individual styles of the artists. It could almost be better to not look and develop your style. To attempt to emulate others is to neglect the YOU that you can only be. However I like to analyse and play with others techniques to add to my palette of options. Here is my favourite drawing from the first session...

It was a 15 minute sketch that I did after working on the same pose for an hour and hating that drawing!!

And I love my drawing from the second session...

I got so excited after seeing others in the group paint the model that I went out and bought some paint! I had to use gladwrap for my palette because when I got home at 9pm there were no appropriate palette options.

and I had to paint the only thing in front of me. A mango! Under a lamp...


I visited a temple and was washed over with the realisation that I just want to be a full time artist. I have been denying myself the opportunities to explore the many artistic things I want to play with. The list is endless, from glazing clay, weaving baskets, crafting silver, painting like a fauvist....

And Pete's parting words have been 'trust yourself and keep exploring'...

Let's see if I can survive the thought.

[current mood] The sound of Squeeky Clean Hair & Fruit with Coconut and Palm Sugar

Friday
30Oct2009

How To Date Me - 101

I know that I have a lot to give in a relationship. I know all the potential I have to explore, make and create with a partner.... Today I thought about how happy I could be just baking amazing things all day with love.

However I am like a rather untapped resource in that regard. I've had boyfriends mostly with very little inspiration. If I said "what would you like to do today?" they would probably reply "dunno, what do you want to do?"

"grrrrrrrr!!!"

I've had a few friends who have complained of their partners lack of creativity when it comes to spending time together. Sometimes I think we go a bit numb when we are IN the relationship and just can't think beyond "dinner and a movie".

I just thought I'd put a few ideas 'out there' for future lovers, and how they might impress me! Obviously direct copies of illustrated date examples is not very inspiring, but you may just get the drift.

The other bonus is that they're mostly free. I'm never impressed with money or cliches. Every time a man has given me a single red rose wrapped in plastic I've had to end the relationship through sheer cliche-disgust. I'd prefer you collected varieties of purple flowers from the park and tied them up with twine. That has meaning in it's making.

Here are my date suggestions:

What beautiful date ideas do you have? Or have you experienced?

Monday
26Oct2009

The Journey to Health

I knew this guy, he was as round as he was tall. He sweated just getting out of a chair.
Every afternoon he'd be drinking beer and eating some greasy food between smokes.

One day he told me he modelled for a calendar for muscly people, years ago. And I asked what the hell happened? He said that he's an "all or nothing kind of a guy" so either he will work out every day and be a health nut or drink beer every day and be a fat nut (I guessed). I could not fathom this approach but have since noticed it as a common thing (especially with men?) that they prefer to do something whole heartedly or not at all.

I see this as a flawed and stubborn concept. And prone to serious accident. The journey is not gradual, not full of lessons, doesn't get cemented through failure and success. It's not balanced and it's not natural.

And what happens? Either the person looks up at this ridiculously steep path and just does not bother, instead goes and drinks a carton, smokes a joint, eats some KFC and reckons that is much more fun.

I have to admit that when I go too hard then I flip out and end up in the carpark of some fast food outlet secretly gorging on grease. It's too inbalanced - my 'dark side' doesn't get to live a little or at least get to work itself out through the process...

I went on a health retreat for my gallstones two weeks ago. It was called Misty Mountain. (Was brilliant). Every morning we had to exercise at 6am by walking/jogging the mountainous terrain.
As my uphill jogging reduced to a puffing kind of walk I contemplated this mountain and its metaphorical potential to be likened to health. I'm essentially getting to the top of a mountain but I'm going round and round, up and down to get there. Sometimes I'm on flat, running well, sometimes going up and struggling a bit, then other times I'm almost falling down the slope with gravity before reaching another up.

If the pathway had been carved just straight up the side of the mountain I simply wouldn't do it.

Instead I'm taking a scenic health journey. Learning so much, occassionally falling into some questionable habits but I am still heading up to the top of 'ultimate health'! The experiences I've had along the way are cementing the decision to move UP and inspire me to stay up.

[current mood] Fresh Sourdough & Too Funky - George Michael

Monday
19Oct2009

The Velveteen Rabbit - 50's Style

The final Spare Parts Puppet Theatre design gig for the year,
And it's the delightful book by Margery Williams. It inspired Toy Story y'know!

And although it was written in the 1920's, the set is very vintage 50's. So I illustrated the artwork to reflect the old 1950's posters. Block colours, peachy and sky blue.

I was waiting for the final design to be approved and whilst I waited I designed more toys to scatter around the artwork. Sometimes clients do get bonuses when they least expect it.

With a moment of unpressured time, I feel like adding more magical bits to my design. And for some reason I believe that more design features will sell more tickets?
"If I just move that jack a couple pixels to the right then the viewer will be so inspired they'll buy tickets for their neighbours too."
"If I make the shadow on the car of correct alignment (to match the other toys) then the show will be a sell out!!"

Or maybe I just do it to satisfy myself...

[current mood] Being sung and strung to: 'Forever Young' & Millet Porridge

Friday
31Jul2009

Another Night Post - but in theme

I seem to be posting at midnight... It's basically better than lying in bed endlessly repositioning hoping that it will be just.. the... spot.. to make me fall asleep..... zzzzzznup, sigh, and move again...

So here is some design I did recently for my beloved Spare Parts Puppet Theatre. It's like playtime working with them!

This show, The Night Zoo, will be a treat so fly to Fremantle and watch it.

Here are some little bits from the back of the flyer. It's those details that matter.

Cheeky Monkey

Girl in a window of the flyer

Elephant's bottom leaves the flyer

[current mood] Eurythmics & Not meatloaf again dad! quit it!

Wednesday
29Jul2009

To look or not to look...

That is the question! Designers!

I sometimes pride myself on being a designer that doesn't look at designers. Like, ever.
I look at art and nature. And deep within.
I like to think my creativity is found through myself - when I am most 'connected' with the world and..... Yes, there is that word I use a bit much these days maybe, GOD.

I think God is within us as we are just a reflection of God.... so in creativity, whether you go in or out, you go God, baby.
uh huh?

Anyway.... point is... what?
Yes, I give God full credit for my creativity it seems. Hmm.. that's slack.

But when I'm not all me me me (and god, who is me anyway), sometimes I pick up a magazine or occassionally click through a designer's website and well, i quietly freak out. "I'm shit I'm shit I'm shit!! arhghghg. I should quit, what am I doing, I suck suck suck!"

And then I forget again. la dee daa...

But today, dagnabit, I'm facing my shitness. I have looked hard at some illustrations by America's finest. And I'm going to just practice their styles. I could feel bad about 'copying' but come to think of it, everyone is seriously copying everyone else. Like who is truly original. C'mon.
AND if you copy technique and some style ideas over n over, eventually your own unique style and ideas should emerge from that.
The trick, I believe, is to be aware of what you're doing.
Plenty of people store other people's ideas in their subconscious and think they are being original when they produce them. Yes that apparently awe inspiring concept they pulled 'out of no where' is simply one they have forgotten that they saw last year!

I won't do that. No I won't...
Or will I?
Guess I won't know. and you probably won't either...

I was reading this book the other night 'Creative Jolt Inspiration'. Fairly crap, don't buy it. But it had a para about where creativity comes from. In this particular person's mind, it comes from the input of stacks of visual information until your mind literally sparks up - catches alight and there is the idea. bang! or pop! or ouch!
When, hmmm, there I was thinking that this was a cheaty pants way. Maybe they are right. Maybe I need more input. But they did say that the visual input should be minimal on other designers of the same area stuff, instead input things like nature, art, conversations, readings...

So, I think a bit of designer input is overdue. I got the rest going on alright.
And to be honest with myself, I need to face up to my shitness sometimes and turn that jealousy into hard work.

go me.

Here are some posters I'm (STILL) working on that utilise a little style stealing. just a little....

[current mood] Sleepy Time Tea & Total Eclipse of The Heart - The Literal Version!

Wednesday
24Jun2009

One morning in Ningaloo - Illustrated

If I had one wish it might be a camera in my eye.

It would go through the filter of my heart and the image would come out as beautiful as the experience. And then I could really share it.

Alas I funnel it through brain, hand and pen! It's the best I can do...


Nestled in a dune I savour my bircher muesli
with fresh strawberries and macadamias from Byron Bay and some love from my friend Nicky - all in one bowl.
and what a context!

I look to my left
I observe the fishermen with their less skilled wives.
They attempt to teach those wives how to cast.


After a while a man catches a fish.
He doesn't know what it is and exclaims this loudly as he leaves it hanging
I whisper, please return him to water
please
And I cry for this fish
I don't know why

Then I see a splash straight ahead!
I know what it is. It's a turtle.
I walk the shores and follow its path of head bobs.

Then I decide to slip out of my clothes and slide into the water.
Unexpectedly, the turtle (barry lets call him) comes over.


Barry fixes his big black eye on me and takes several looks between several dunks.
I grin as wide as I go.

Then we both part.
Thank you Barry for that moment.

With my belly full I lie back into the sea.


As usual, I admire my toes that poke above the blue so vividly.

Back on shore, I look to my right.
There in the distance is a black dot.


I feel the need to find out what it is, so I walk walk walk in its direction.
Hoping for something special.

Upon arrival I see that it is a lump of coral.


I push my disappointment aside and look at its detail to find its beauty
Ahh little shells attached to its edges and many curvy holes of curiosity.
So I sit with her.
This quiet old soul
What might she tell me.



Ideas come to me in our space
and I thank the coral and depart back to the dune.

There I see my bowl but no spoon.


and there appears to be some rather unquestionable evidence.
I look high and low but can not see my spoon where I imagine it.

I come back in the afternoon to eat some fruit of six varieties,
savouring each individually.



I watch the sun turn the sea into a pathway of gold


always straight no matter where you sit.
It hits the shore right in front of me
and to the footsteps of where I have been
that will be washed away by morning.

I know why I came here.

Do you?

[current mood] Mushrooms on Pita & Lapping waves