Every few years I venture back to my home town of Sydney and take myself on a bus ride to my childhood home. I take the same route I would on school days and get off the bus in my suburb of Riverview. I walk down my street which is over in three giant steps (used to be an adventure to go from one end to the other) and stare at my house as the memories flood back. I can't look for long, it's like I've entered a past life, like a dream, and I can't quite touch it, I can't see anyone I know, I stare into the past and feel like a ghost floating through my old life.

I head to the park and cover my old tracks past the mulberry tree, the tidal pool and to the concrete box we used to sunbake on. It's there I tend to get overwhelmed with a loss that I'm yet to understand. I head back up to the corner store and look at the step I sat on to sell posies to earn money for lollies, the park we make-believed in, the trees that smell like times long ago.

Part of this self-guided journey of going back in time is catching up with old primary school friends.

This trip I met some I hadn't seen over 15 years. And I told them my most prominent memories of them. I like that my memory is different to theirs, something they've forgot, something I can share with them like a little gift.

Here are my drawings of some memories I have of my primary school friends.

Kim:
In year four we planted a bean in cotton wool, when I went to your house you had a huge vine growing and mine was long dead. I thought this was reflective of your high achieving nature.

Sacha:
I'm sorry that I made you cry when I forced you to put a stocking over your afro so that we could perform a more 'creative' performance of 'Lean on Me' for our parents.

Heather:
Your toy 'Wazza' caused me to doubt your sanity, especially when you brought him to camp and spent the majority of our bush walks talking to him (and rubbing lanolin on yourself constantly).

Monique:
Remember those mischievous prank calls where we pretended to be calling from 'Neighbours' and we were running a musical instrument guessing competition in which people could win a television? I felt terribly guilty when one lady screamed with joy that she had won.

Jess G:
You were the prettiest girl in class and because of this you could get away with your spit trick where you'd eat a redskin and be able to produce red spit in a long piece and then suck it back up instead of it hitting the ground.

Jess F:
You were sex obsessed. When you sent Monique that postcard which had your invented word 'sexcellent'. Her mum called your mum and you got busted. You went too far.

Jess F:
I had to give you two memories. I distinctly remember you coming back from the bathroom to proudly annouce that you had counted three pubic hairs.

Celina:
You taught me how to make origami stars and we'd fill up jars whilst your brother played computer games and you ate weird asian lollies.

Madeline:
I don't know where you are now, but I stayed at your house and the door slammed causing a porceline doll to fall and break. Your mum came in to hit you with the spoon causing me to run away in fear and I peed on the newly shampooed carpet. I'm still pleased about this because your mum was a bitch.

Trent:
In kindergarten I thought you were cute, but why did you have to peek under my dress on the day my mum insisted on me wearing some bright red silk undies she told me were 'french knickers'?

[current mood] Splendour In The Grass & Multiple Blocks of Lindt

Do you remember waking up to that feeling? You have a cockies cage for a mouth, a head with negligible water content and eyes that feel like they were rubbed out during the night?
And you think, why why why would I drink ever again?... and then you look over....

and next to you, you see what you actually did in the whirr of liquored upedness.

You brought home a set of rainbow fingernails.

One hand only.

It occured in daylight hours in a mall.

[current mood] Rediscovering Wine after weeks off & Christmas Cake