It was a delight to write an article on Dessert Club for Perth's Spice Magazine.

An opportunity to describe our sweet and saucy nights out at Perth's best restaurants was a challenge for me, not being a writer. But having done it, I noted the wonderful feeling at achieving something outside of my usual vocations.

Here's the first page:

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You can read my article here thanks to their generosity of spirit!

exiles on mains’ treat

Dessert Club skips mains and gets down to the business of desserts.

HAVE YOU EVER DREAMT whilst dining out that you could gladly skip straight to dessert and not be judged?
Or ever wanted to just get that fish of the day out of the way so you could explore the delicate textures of a saffron and vanilla crème brûlée with orange and tequila sorbet and citrus tuile?

If no ... what is wrong with you!?

If yes, then I think you will find that you’re not alone ...

It began late one night in the flocked surrounds of a candlelit restaurant. An unusual pair sat down to satisfy their sweet teeth, expecting a simple slice of tried-it-all-before cake. What came instead was sugar-coated enlightenment as they were delivered a visually splendiferous chocolate brownie, orange blossom poached pear with side of liquorice ice cream accompanied with specific instructions for consumption and a chef-recommended sticky.

An imperative of the senses inspired the heady decision to begin a club, an exclusive dessert club. A club exclusive enough to get itself into the doors of Perth’s finest restaurants.

The experience of Perth’s gourmet desserts is something to be taken quite seriously, not as some main meal afterthought, but as a experience in and of itself. A torrone and pistachio semifreddo with orange caramel, to be most fully appreciated, should not have to squeeze in next to pork belly with seared scallops. And yet, so often we sit in these glorious establishments with a gut full of entrée, main and wine, unable to attend to the dessert menu appreciably.

Dessert Club offers all the decadence of fine dining but on a smaller budget. So friends with varying economic circumstances found this regular $15 - $25 experience quite palatable. Of course many of them splurge the monetary equivalent of main meals on aperitifs, dessert wines, affogattos and all those other things you rarely order. Sugar lovers tend to follow their urges more so than those of a savoury disposition.
Dessert Club has become a somewhat secret society where one can indulge with likeminded pleasure seekers. No dessert is overlooked when ordering and with a clamber of forks and spoons, each meets the taste buds of the members.

Through the shared experience, complete with starry eyed ratings, the group is learning the language of desserts, from the unpredictably joyful olive oil ice cream through to the experience that is strawberries with rose petal sorbet and a Moscato induced spider. Nothing turns the serious conversation of well dressed guests into a gaggle of squeals like mango and coconut tart with a side of basil sherbert.

The Dessert Club circuit has included the finest of Perth’s restaurants, Balthazar, Harvest, C, Il Lido, Must … with new restaurants opening all the time, the list of hosts never tires.
The Club meets monthly, with empty stomachs, at 8pm on a chosen weeknight. The challenge is to secure the longest table in the restaurant, as the group often swells to sixteen or more. A restaurant has to be inspired to cater to such a large group who won’t be spending up big. We have had a couple of knock backs, or the request to make it later, but mostly restaurants are amused enough to offer us up their best seats and have a group indulge in the lower regions of their menu. Each experience has been entirely unique and a celebration of divine flavours.

That is, with the exception of Balthazar, where there was some suspicion as to whether the chef was toying with our senses. The dessert menu included pumpkin soup, which sadly tasted exactly like pumpkin soup. And other dishes that resembled bread with peanut butter and beetroot crisps with goo. Was it an avant garde deconstruction gone too far? Never the less, the experience resulted in one of the most entertaining Club meetups as we debated the tastes and pondered the motives.

The Dessert Club has actually held itself thrice at Harvest Restaurant in North Fremantle. Their desserts would be the finest of all and the menu keeps changing, bringing us back to do it all again. We have made requests to have the original menu back, probably for the one particularly architectural dessert that came with a side of mint tea that we just can’t get over. But perhaps, like love, familiarity of dessert would breed contempt.

The Club is as much a social occasion as a gastronomical one. The diversity of the members was designed by the co-founders to generate sparks of conversation. People were pulled from different social circles to create an engaging dynamic. Table discussions tend to take odd tangents, when fueled by glucose. We have addressed whether Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory was better in book, Gene Wilder or Johnny Depp format; or should oil rigs be made to dissolve over time for the environment’s sake (put sugar in with the steel)? All the while the spoons slide into clouds of cream, crack through toffeed edges and scrape off the remaining coulis smears.

Dessert Club has inspired a deep respect for the gourmet third course. Orange blossom poached pear and a rhubarb mascarpone dacquoise with liquorice ice cream makes it clear that to limit one’s self to sticky date pudding is, simply, a wasted opportunity.

[current mood] Apple Tarte Tartin made by Neets & Conference Calls from the Balcony Overlooking Mountains

Nuts!

It all started back in the sticky summer of 83. Mother sent me packing on a jet plane to fly solo (age 5) to visit grandma in Brisbane. That was back when they gave you colouring books and pencils on Qantas. Maybe they still do, but I haven't been offered any. I think this all led to my interest in coloured pencils, but I digress.. nuts. Yes, it was upon arrival at gran's that I experienced the snow like fallings of the macadamia tree. Her cement slabs were nestling husks with peaking brown nuts.

Armed with a hammer and a concrete crevice, I would spend hours learning how to crack it just so, to keep the smooth white nut in tact and not decorated with shell smashings. Each hard earned nut was consumed instantly, and that is how I proved that I am nuts about nuts.

I won't take my macas in any other form than au natural now. Although I was tempted by some lime and pepper roasted ones recently at the maca castle in NSW. Yeah, of course I would go the macadamia castle three times in two days.

So when I saw this bag of pecan nuts I got to relive my childhood.

And they were a mere $5 for locally grown pecans.
They were sitting outside my IGA supermarket. The IGA that will let me borrow a DVD with no ID because I say I'm local. Yet another of the amassing reasons I LOVE rural communities!

So I went out in search of a nut cracker, and at $25 I wasn't convinced they'd do my nuts the right service. (hmm that sentence could be taken out of context). So I went to Bunnings, feeling all tough, a girl on a mission for a tool, "I don't need no help thanks I know which aisle I'm after". So straight to the hammer section I went to pick, well, the cheapest one actually, I'm just cracking nuts after all.

And with some angling and practicing and getting too much shell in my nut, I worked through my bag.

I finally reached that point of ecstacy where the nut comes out intact and tastes like the effort put in to crack it.

So there you have it. A nut cracker that doubles as a tool you can put nails into wood with!

I thought I'd apply this logic to other things, so I'm testing out how I can use office chair packing box as a dog bed (wind protection a bonus).

And Oscar was straight in there - no questions asked. He even took it one step further and dragged in the plastic bits for extra cushy comfort. sigh..... dogs.....

and nuts.....

[current mood] ABC Sunshine FM with Mary Lou & Porridge with Rhubarb Compote

Arrive 12pm. Crystal Waters.

I'm here for a week of 'wwoofing' (working on organic farms). I take the wrong route and end up on more of a category 5 four-wheel drive track going up hill. Van tyres gets wedged in... well, a wedge. I suddenly get that all over body shiver of 'what the f have I just done??' I manage to manevour the van out of wedge but brakes fail and it careers down the hill. Somehow I manage to not roll the van or die.

I also didn't cry which is a huge improvement. I head back to the correct location and finally arrive at my host's house. (Peter).

Pete's in his underwear and I'm just about to bolt (coming from a series of seedy old man scenarios) but like usual me, I give him the benefit of the doubt and discover pretty much everyone enjoys time in their undies, if not naked, here at Crystal Waters. It's like, that's totally fine with me if it's not a sleezy kind of naked. Do you know the difference?

Quite quickly I warm to Pete. A generous and cheery 71 year old. He's sharing an acreage with Les and Les (a couple). Chooks, veges, fruit trees, organic everything, overlooking huge dam, birdlife central... this is a paradise.

Afternoon begins with a visit to Les's little bakery where we pack up some loaves, mmm fresh bread smell.

Then we go for a swim in the dam. I have never slid into a lilly topped dam with water birds and squishy mud. It was bath temperature with shafts of cool. I wish I could photograph this from the water.

On the way back we collect some huge Bunya 'pine nuts' and I crack them open to find the big nuts which are cooked up and taste like chestnuts. I LOVE them.

And there, on the porch is a friend of Pete's. A mango farmer. He's brought samples for us to try and can't wait to hear our response. I describe it as 'an adult's mango. Both sweet and tangy. A touch challenging'. (It's absolutely delicious).

He shows us how to propagate the mango by gently prying the shell open and taking out the inner seed. I'm floored because I never knew and I want a mango orchard one day.

Then Tim turns up! A native bee guru (to the extreme). He is entirely generous with his knowledge, barely blinks, just talks with a huge smile and wide eyes. He reminds me of an incredibly likeable tv host.

He splits a hive and we taste the medicinal honey.

We learn all about how the bees operate and debate their level of consciousness.

The neighbours all just turn up and ask questions of Tim. It's freaking beautiful. Community at its best.

I grab my Brazilian Cherry jam from the van and share it - spread on Les's freshly baked bread and the experts enjoy. I am chuffed!

My first 'job' is to go pick Jaboticaba fruit for jam making. I'm a tad nervous about repeating my Braz Cherry success so I will have to do some hefty research. Much harder with an audience!

In the evening I head to a gig at the Crystal Waters community area, help sell pizza made by Les and Les before sitting back with my slices and a bottle of locally brewed lager to enjoy the band and conversation with friendliest-ever lady sitting next to me.

I feel like today was really one of the best afternoon's I ever had.

Good luck to tomorrow!

[current mood] Beans off the vine & Hopping

The idea just seemed so preposterous that I had to take it on.

I'm walking past this tree covered in strange fruit and the farmer Dave says
"apparently it makes good jam, that's what they told us when we bought the place."

"Ever tried it?" I asked.
"Nup"
"Maybe I will"
"Better hope it don't poison ya"

So I googled about and confirmed by 'the truth source' that is the www, that it is edible. And the Brazillian Cherry does make good jam.

I've pulled over near some falls in the most gorgeous of towns, Maleny in QLD. I'll stay here a night or two. It seems just the place to have a little cook up.

So from within the extreme confines of my campervan I began the process of making jam. AND it is to be my inaugural jam-making experience.

I collected the berries in a container. Really tart things if you take a nibble.

I got onto google and found no recipe for this particular fruit. So I adapted from another cherry recipe.

I stewed the cherry berries in some water, added some lemon juice and rind then the sugar I just happened to have. Half white organic and half brown!

Bubbley goodness, I think it's working!

I then picked out the dozens of seeds which are poisonous.

In some ironic way they reminded me of the gallstones i have FLUSHED OUT of my system. I've been warned by family and friends not to post them on my blog, so I'll just point out that if you add a touch more green, you can imagine what I'm releasing!

Once the jam looks ready, I pour it into my jar and label.

I had a little taste and it was really really quite delicious!

Will buy some bread tomorrow.

[current mood] Crickets & Imagining Eating Scones with my JAM and cream.