I'm taking an avid interest in print making since I attended a weekend course at NERAM with Basil Hall of BHE. He's a superstar teacher and print maker doing lots of work in Aboriginal communities and running courses in places like Greece.

It was my first experience of etching on tin and using acid baths, aqua tinting and a printing press.
Here are tin plates soaking in acid solution. Eating away the design to create an indent that the ink will fill.

I loved discovering this process!
However with my innate self-criticism and perfectionism which truly comes out when I'm learning a new thing... I was pretty grumpy as I created some 'art' and found myself quite disappointed with my weekend's work.

But I kept telling myself "I'm learning and the outcome isn't important". (ie shut up brain).

In the last few hours of the weekend I grabbed a fresh plate of tin and a needle and quickly scraped this picture on to it. It's based on a photo I took of myself sitting on a beach in Exmouth, WA.

Far better than the hours of work I'd done previously, so I have one thing I'm happy to share.

Still, I felt a bit sad after my course because I am actually disappointed by my level of skill. I realised that I've always felt mediocore with art despite considering myself an artist... to be perfectly honest!

I can do the occassion impressive thing but ultimately my work is far from the talent of artists I respect. And that's a frustrating thing, to know what is good art and be unable to create it.

But someone said to me "Isn't it a case of practicing?" And I said, "well, with a bunch of talent too!"
But then I thought that without the practice, how would you know if the talent wasn't laying in there, just a bit dormant, just a bit hidden by lack of skill?

This caused me to feel hope and a drive to really practice.

I grabbed a piece of lino in the afternoon sun yesterday and sketched a bunch of pencils and an old leaf.

Then I sliced out parts pretty swiftly, seizing the moment of inspiration. I painted it and squashed it on paper...

and today I took a sketch pad on a walk around Blue Hole, the incredible gorge that lies just ten minutes out of Armidale. I sketched what I saw when we stopped.

So I'm researching, collecting, looking, playing. I can stop criticising myself.

I can simply be pleased that I am practicing, regularly. Giving my talent a chance to be discovered. (TBC).

[current mood] Crunchie Bars & Falling Water

Well life has been getting in the way - and it's been really interesting, so interesting that i had to ask my boyfriend if he was real and if this was a dream? It's just that I'm so out of my usual context that it's causing some kind of existentialist crisis...

Well then he pinched me and said "See! It's not a dream" but that didn't prove he was real so I pinched him back!

I'm living half my life in Armidale NSW, with my little office set up in the corner of a beautiful restaurant, designing fun things.

and then I flit back to Perth every month to shoot weddings and hang out with my family...

Sometimes I look through my phone to remember who my friends are (helps with guest lists for parties) and sometimes I look at the photos to remind myself what I've been up to.

Here are some reminders of my life that has been...

The chalkings for the production of artwork for Andrea Gibbs and her upcoming show 'The Allnut St diaries'.

The finished artwork.

The insanity that was me collecting dozens of Greek and Italian props for a wedding photobooth.

And the results...

Then there was the 'photographer that cared too much' deal sealer when I made a huge green triangle cake.

With my mother.

For the Greens Party member's magazine.

My company (Seedpod) is now the design and editing team for Green Magazine which will relaunch in 3 months.

So the upcoming months will see me busier still but I am now reading David Allen's 'Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress Free Productivity' to get more of a meditative grip on my working life.

[current mood] Haruki Murakami & Greek Salad

Yes, I have been travelling for a while now with "three clothes and half an underwear" (credit: Nicola Harte) but have prioritised the inclusion of a fully kitted crochet bag.

As discussed last night with friends... as you get older there is a period of acceptance of not actually wanting to do what you used to do. For example, a couple years ago I would have forced myself to go clubbing and to late night bars whilst visiting Melbourne. I would have walked the streets all day, shopping and meeting friends and been damn exhausted but thinking that was what I was meant to be doing. But now I fully embrace that I want to simply sit on a good friend's couch, crochet, talk about life and drink one damn fine glass of wine. I don't have to prove nuthin!

Now I know that craft is oh so irritatingly hipster right now, but it does not detract from my delight at having learned to crochet and the incrementally improving quality of my productions.

I forced Rowan to give me an object to crochet and after some thought he came up with 'a breakfast radish'.
I had to google it and discovered it's like a radish and a parsnip and a carrot got together and made a three-way baby.

It's pretty accurate.... but I was sorely disappointed to discover on Google that other people in the world felt that crocheting a breakfast radish was also a good idea. How hard is it to be original? What is not crochet-corrupted yet? Can I truly make a soft and knotted version of something that hasn't been nannafied before??

I even joked with Cristina about 'haha, what next, a crochet eye patch??" only to discover that is like, so 2 years ago...

Well I'm going to try to find things (or more like NOT find them on the interwebs) to crochet.
Feel free to suggest...

I don't doubt I'll be over this phase soon and hopefully I will still find things to do when I am 70... or back to clubbing for me!

[current mood] A not-curdled soy latte and a not-cashew-allergy laced granola

This is the third participant in The Occasion project that I started in Armidale, NSW. I only managed to get through 3 people in my week as artist in residence at NERAM. But I will continue on as I travel around Australia... starting conversations about why we hang on to objects and ideas and fantasies and helping people seize the day and USE their things for a photoshoot.

I loved working with Hadley. He's one of my fantastic new friends in Armidale. Hadley has 30 ties he's been imagining wearing when he becomes a 'professional'. Years later, those ties haven't seen the fluorescent light of a day in the office.

Donating his ties to the occasion project was certainly a PROCESS as much as an outcome, as Hadley explains in the video piece below.

The Occasion: with Hadley from Neram on Vimeo.

Hands up if you want to take part if you're in Perth, Sunshine Coast, Brisbane, Sydney, Armidale or Melbourne! I'll be in those parts over the next two months and I'd love for you to find an object that you are saving for a special occasion and use it in an everyday or unique way.

Got something? Email me.

[current mood] Old Funk & Cherries

I discovered Instagram a week ago, in a park, in Armidale NSW.

For those that are at least a week behind me, Instagram is a free smart phone ap that takes photos that you can apply a range of funky filters to including colour and focus effects AND geo-locate them and then share them with friends, following any number of people and their beautiful views of life!

As a sometimes-slack-photographer, I love using my phone and clicking to create effects. It's far more versatile than Hipstamatic which you know was my camera of choice in India and the USA!

Looking back through my week of Instagram photos, I realised that they tell the love story that occured concurrently...

I sat outside at the NERAM gallery cafe where I'd get my morning coffee and it was here that I took my first Instagram photo of a man reflecting.

My coffee was delivered by the owner, Rowan, and I showed him my photograph and put it on the cafe's Facebook page. We struck up a friendship consisting of shared nerdiness, beatles lyric quotes and an identical cutlery collection.

It was raining a bit and very chilly for December, so I wandered into the Museum of Print under the gallery.

I played with the letterpress to create a christmas card I imagined giving to friends. I could spend a week down here!

But the next day, Rowan asked me out.
We only have a week but 'why not', we both thought.

So we ate brilliant food together as much as we could.

We drank martinis and margaritas together when we could.
And sometimes apart - him working and me playing with Instagram.

We discovered a tiny rabbit at the cafe and I made a dozen new friends.

I followed him on errands as any time was good time

I picked flowers from his garden for glass jars we bought at the tip shop

I immersed myself in fresh produce and his housewarming party

We didn't get much sleep

I never made any more of those letterpress cards but nothing seemed more right than to rest the one print I did make against a vase of flowers on Rowan's porch.

It's almost Christmas and now my poem makes perfect sense.

So I'm contemplating Armidale and continuing a love story...

[current mood] Artichoke Hearts & The Beatles

Lauren Upjohn for The Occasion project.

I've been given the opportunity to be an artist in residence at NERAM in Armidale, NSW.

Heard of Neram? It's the absolutely under-rated New England Regional Art Museum which has the most impressive collection of Heidelberg era art in a regional area. It also runs education projects as well as touring and selling exhibitions. And not to mention the incredibly delicious and gourmet café I could LIVE IN! Neram Harvest.

As part of my residency I'm doing a project called The Occasion. And I'm setting up this blog for other artists to do residencies!

I've been thinking about this Occasion concept for a while. I think nearly everybody has some object they hang on to for a special occasion. We often buy these objects with a future fantasy story attached to them.

And it sits there, being un-lived. A tangible expression of not being present. Not seizing the day!

For example I bought this 60s swirly dress from an op shop for this fantasy party I might attend where I need to dress retro... 3 years on, no such party has occured. So if I were part of this project, I would pop on this dress and just head out for the day, do my shopping and enjoy the dress in the everyday occasion. I do the same thing with tea cups, stationery and shoes...

My first photographic subject is the horse riding country gal, Lauren Upjohn.

Here is the video I made of Lauren's Occasion.

The Occasion: with Lauren from Neram on Vimeo.

[current mood] Croissants & Camomile Tea with New Arty Friends on Squeeky Chairs

Can you FEEL this photo?

It's that feeling that feeds me.

When I've just shot a wedding I can't wait to go through the images, edit them and look at them, over and over again.
I guess it's about the beauty, the joy - I love looking at what I've done.
It's not like I'm being egocentric, there is some little bit of magic between me and the final shot that takes a bit of 'me' out of it.

Here are some favourites from Kath & Dave's wedding last weekend.

There is much you can't control, such as the light and weather, the people's love, the natural expressions and the way flags get held, just right.

It makes the world of difference photographing people that are full of feeling.

I need to be the fly on the wall to allow the experience to occur.

As Kath's sister, Janine wrote to me "It's as though you were wearing some sort of cloak of invisibility - I'm looking at them and thinking I don't remember her taking that!"

I need to be aware of angles and a hundred things going on at once. It just occurs in my mind very quickly so I don't miss a thing!

Sometimes you see potential and you just give it a little encouragement.

And other times you choose everything to be perfect but still let the moment breath.

But it's also fun to entirely stage something with clear direction for ultimate effect.

This was the secret 'posh' shot for mum.

With every wedding I do, I carry the experience of all those that went before. When you keep doing something, you just have to get better right?

As Jappalin, the incredible florist for Kath & Dave's wedding said as she gushed down the phone last night, "The future's looking bright!"

[current mood] Whirring computers in Armidale, NSW & Ryvitas for breakfast, lunch and tea.

The day is at it's end
I feel a sorrow rising
but the dusk is setting in
and I love it for surprising  

I look down on a beach
near empty but for three
children playing cricket
and my own two bare feet 

I head towards the sand
sitting under salty air
like a thick mist in the sky
not a wispy cloud spare 

The ocean beckons me 
singing deep in my ear
a sweet entrancing sound
and so I enter here 

I let the waves lap me up
I begin to create prose
I exclaim it to the ocean 
"my love my love" I go 

I really talk aloud
the ocean seems a being
I'm talking with about
how I'm truly feeling 

I let it be wild
I let it clear me
I take on her message
it's medicine you see

These colours hit me
beyond any doubt
the most beautiful colours
I have ever come about 

No words will convey 
and I think that it's due
to the millions of colours
making up this here hue

It's like metallic, it's cyan, it's turquoise. It's blue
but it's deep blue, sky blue, mauve, lilac blue

It's so so 
so so
so
beautiful 

I look up as it graduates 
deeper and deeper
and I see this dome above me
from my tiny peeper 

I'm immersed in this lover
and I travel across
to the light that makes dusk
the setting sun almost lost 

And just to the right
her partner, the moon
a slant smile rising
I feel possessed to salute

And so yoga I do
for the sun and the moon
for this life that I'm given
I say thank you 

thank you 

and I cry because I mean it
even with sand in my eye 
that drops from my hands 
clasping up to the sky

I see a little twinkle
a flash in the air
and I say thank you for that
what ever that was there

I step in a puddle
of curious form 
I see the sky reflected 
or the dune like floor 

I change focus each step
moving between two worlds 
one of sand one of sky
I walk or I fly

And I feel light and celebratory
I begin to dance and pirouette
and it's like I'm possessed
to prance and ballet step

I'm by myself on the beach,
no one's looking at me
I'm dancing in joy
and no one, no one can see

My body it moves in response
to visual ecstasy
but I can't help but think
it's temporary

It's fading, getting darker
the ocean nearing black
and I wonder why I'm crying
Do I fear a lack?

But there is beauty in the night
yes there is! I remember!
A galaxy of sparks and pinpricks
I can dream of their splendour

As I leave I reflect 
on how words really suck
and that nothing can explain 
and make you give a stuff

Words come in drabs
arching creeping bubbling
But no names for the colour
There I'm really fumbling

Then I realise more is going on
in this feeling that I'm having
Looking at a photo
I would never feel this smashing

Being here within it
It's the presence of the thing
in all its fleeting glory
as the dark is entering 

[current mood] Sesame Snaps & Queen

Doesn't look much like our blood pumping, fleshy organ.

Here are my thoughts:

A heart shape represents so much more than our heart. It represents love, the heart of our being.

The Heart Chakra

Our heart chakra isn't positioned where our heart is, instead it's in the upper middle of the chest.
This chakra is the energy centre of our openness - our ability to love and be loved.

As it is with all chakras, they are in the centre of our body. That's because we want to be symmetrical, balanced, with our energy coming from the core.

So the heart-shape is, likewise, symmetrical. It could represent our heart chakra.

The Act of Love

It dawned on me that the heart shape could also define the direction of giving love, and receiving love.

Like a topographic view of a hug.

We give love out, like out stretched arms. Then that process draws love back in, filling us.
There is no such thing as running out of love to give. Love is a bottomless cup.

I've been seeing heart shapes in lots of places lately. Here are some of them photographed.

"Love was not put in your heart to stay, love is not love til you give it away" - a fortune cookie I once had.

So I left a little love in my morning walk.

[current mood] Fish Cakes & Sneezing

For some reason Alice and I were drawn to live together. I suppose there is something we need to learn from each other.

Alice needs to learn not to control me and I need to learn not to be controlled by Alice.

That was a joke (Alice!). What I really need to learn is how to be true to myself within a more controlled environment as well as partake in some of the order, respecting Alice.

Alice needs to learn how to not get wound up by my spontaneous, messy, creative chaos and let things flow more.

Right?

But it's fun to tease Alice...

Leaving a pear with just one bite sitting on the kitchen bench all day.

Not properly closing the pantry door which leaves the auto-light on.

Taking the ordered cutlery and turning a spoon completely upside down. I'm so crazy.

Mixing up the canned vegetables varieties and making a pretty pattern.

Leaving a giant pom pom on the sofa.

Turning the right nob to face right, not left like the left one.

Taking over the kitchen bench with your office, hard drives and dirty crockery.

I've noticed Alice is getting used to it now. I think she's learned all she needs to from me and it's time to move on. My job is done.

As a farewell gift I bought her these gorgeous, handmade, imperfect, colourful tea cups

and she really liked them.

[current mood] Sushi & Other People Doing Hard Labour

ps I warned Alice about this post and the information herein may be slightly exaggerated and I may have in fact learned a few things from Alice. I'm balancing out my freestyling condition with a good dose of zen-like cleanliness, attention to detail and some planning. Just some.