Craft for Dummies

With all those delightfully chic books out like Crafty Minx teaching modern girls how to sew bunting flags, stuffed owls, retro aprons and pinwheels...

I think the world needs an antedote. And what was formerly titled 'knitting for retards' I'm now thinking should be more PC-ly titled 'Craft for Dummies'.

It's an imaginary book (cause let's face it, I'm never going to find time to do it) in which I demonstrate how crap knitting and craft can be made to work! Because I'm a lazy-crafter and I'm not one to read instructions or follow patterns... I want to encourage others to just 'give it a crack' and accept the quirky outcomes.

My neighbour Karen and I came up with lots of stupid ideas for how to utilise holes in jumpers, but leaving that aside, I thought I'd take you on my crappy craft adventure - cause clearly I have to provide examples for my book.

I went with my Karen to our local Allo Allo french pattiserie for our weekly cake and tea catchup. This time she brought her basket and wool and taught me a bit more about knitting. We decided to make a teacosy.

An hour or so later I'd managed to get into a rhythm with my knitting and realised I'd gained a few too many stitches. Karen suggested I make a waterbottle cover instead. Brilliant!

We stayed til close and made friends with the owners as we'd taken over the space like two old french maids.

I ran out of the one ball and so created the reverse side in another colour. It means I can flip it over depending on my mood. I'll never be bored!

Now i know this doesn't look OVERLY crap but let me just tell you that you'll find the waterbottle cover rather loose. I also like seeing this as a cute turtle neck jumper for an armless child.

With inspiration in my footsteps I kindly accosted my neighbours daughter and said "let's make a cute bunny".

I think you'll see her expression says it all. "You call this a bunny tail??"
Yep, her mum actually had to pull her back in line for laughing so hard at my terrible terrible representation of a bunny.

But I'm certain that a pair of eyes and mouth will make this munted rabbit much more lovable.

to be continued...

or not.

[current mood] Singing Ange Takas tunes & Green Tea Soba Noodles

Comments

[Lauren]

I guess I'll work on making an armless child for your turtleneck... or you can continue to "up-skill" yourself for when we finally have grandchildren in the family. until then I'm sure any future babies wont find the munted bunny too creepy!
xx

[sally may]

I'm with you Nat, perhaps a co-author. I've knitted the cushion cover that became a knee rug, the scarf that lost so many stitches it ended up doll-sized, and the ceramic tea pot whose spout resembled a penis so closely I had to give it to the St Vinnies. The joy is in the process.