Stop Thinking & Write a Song

For the past month my brain has been getting incrementally more overpowering. It's actually become out of control. I have to stop mid brain-debate and shout 'shut the f*ck up!!'.

What started as a quiet conversation became louder and louder, soon enough it felt like a chorus of one hundred voices shouting at me with fears, anxieties, attempts to work things out.

If you let the mind just go forth unmanaged it becomes an unruly mess. You can barely hear your soul.

So, too long between meditations and time out was due. I booked a flight to Sydney a few weeks ago to do something arty with a friend and then he recommended I join an intuition workshop as part of the Magicians Way course.

As per usual, when it came to the day of departure, the timing seemed bad and I have so much shit to do I thought 'why did I book this trip?'...

I ended up staying in Heather's cottage, situated in a hidden garden. It's an adorable a-frame super-sized cubby complete with ladder-access attic bedroom. Alone for a day I read all manner of materials, ate super healthy, sat, lay, stretched... I just hung out.

I watched a wonderful DVD by Adyashanti whilst sitting cross legged on the couch.

We also went iceskating and watched the Sydney Dance Company.

I walked around my childhood suburbs and listened to the silence.

Slowly my mind was quietening.

And Heather's piano just had to be touched.
I'm no musician but I let myself muck about on it. With no one around it didn't matter and I recorded it for fun.

I then went to the course and discovered my access to intuition. I was read and I read.
There was transformation and new connections.

And now I'm back here and there is a beautiful beautiful silence in my mind.
I can finally hear my soul again.

Thank goodness I took flight!

Here is what I recorded on the piano with some added words. Listen with gentle non-critical ears please! :)

Singing was a course of its own in non-self-judgement and letting whatever wanted to arise, arise.

x

oh and I also made an elephant.

[current mood] Health Smoothies & The Movie 'Once'.

Comments

[Rachel]

Natalija, you are a true inspiration. I've been getting my meditation on in the last few weeks for the very same reason - my head was so loud I couldn't hear myself, what I needed...nothing! You've motivated me to go and have another sit and just BE. I also may have to bust out my lego set and make some artwork of my own. That elephant is too cute :)

[Natalija]

Ahhhhh Rachel! So good to read this.
I keep waking up in the middle of the night and thinking 'argh' I have to take that song off my blog! But it's part of the bigger context, the non-thinking, non-caring context that makes one HAPPY!
I'm so glad to hear you relate to this experience of the ever increasing mind-chatter. You can't let it slip, mine is already piping up again in absence of meditation... that cheeky monkey!! :) xo

[Ric]

I loved the lilting, invocative nature of your piano piece. I saw drips and droplets of shimmering moisture falling from the eaves as rain lashed my roof. There was a kind of nostalgia and thoughts of loves past and present,growing, healed and otherwise. Beoootifull. Thank you.

[mik]

You sound like Lamb! Just one more talent to your infinitely long list of! :)