Hugs and Rainbows
Monday, September 6, 2010 at 12:37PM Being new to the Sunshine Coast I like to do a bit of the old 'yes man' and take up opportunities that present themselves. One of these was going on HUG PATROL - an initiative started by Arcadia Love.
Hug patrol goes to events and just gives out free hugs, no strings attached.
So yesterday I went to a father's day event in Cotton Tree on official hugging duty. Luckily the uniform was as un-sexy as can be, to ensure there is no question that these hugs are platonic! So back I was in 1989 in my happy pants and baggy tee ready to offer hugs to the people wandering about.
At first it was daunting to walk around with your arms open and offering hugs with potential rejection. But 90% of people said "SURE" and I learnt not to take a decline personally. It amazed me how many people did have an instant positive response and how thankful some were.
A hug isn't a one way exchange either, so effectively I was receiving dozens of hugs which caused me to have an unstopable big silly grin!
One gentleman told us he hadn't been hugged in 4 years. So we gave him a group hug which caused him to break down. It's like his shell was cracked open and he was able to express his deep laid pains. After some time we saw a glimmer of hope arise in him...
Being father's day there is a lot of undertone around, dad's with their children for the day, split couples, heavy emotions, supressed joy, new families.... so we discovered that a hug is a catalyst for a 'break'. A ciruit breaker if you will. It can release the unexpressed, stop a tense interaction, remind someone of unconditional love, the importance of touch and that joy can be just there, just there in a hug.
My favourite hug was that of tiny children. I'd bend down and open my arms and mostly their eyes would light up, and they would show no inhibition coming straight into my body to be wrapped in a hug.
I felt so happy after a day of hugging that I went home to make the happiest cake I could....
I got to share it with my office colleagues today and such responses for my rainbow cake included "loopy", "very gay" and "pretty and delicious!"
It was way too much effort and I dropped half of it on the floor... but for a photo, yeah, it's worth it.
[current mood] Cherry Tomatoes from the Vine & My Voice on Radio... promos for ABC Open!
food, love, projects in Inspiration
Reader Comments (8)
It was a pleasure to have you join us for some Dads' Day hugs Nat. It sure was a heart opener for me...and very humbling too.
Hey if anyone's interested, come join our facebook Hug Patrol group:http://bit.ly/91lLOb
Hey Nat,
You did really well for a first time hugger... That was about my 12th Hug Patrol and in some ways they have all been different but I find them all so rewarding. Just to connect for that moment in time... as time goes on I meet people who say I hugged them at this and that event and both they and I am left with a really beautiful feeling and memory.
Connection in a disconnected world... for me its about connection.
hummmm!! Rainbow Cake, next time don't drop the cake drop it off at the clinic ....
Hi Nat, Do Dads Proud. What a fantastic day. So many warm, friendly handshakes and man hugs from the dads. A rippa of a day.n Dads Day means so much to us all.
this (father's) life.
"Early September and Father's Day. My seven yo son offers me a bag of burnt biscuits and some crayon drawings.
We spend a beautiful day at Bronte Beach. The ocean pool --- one of the marvels of Sydney --- lies nestled in hands of rock by the cliff face. When the swell is up on the high tide, great rolling southerly breakers crash across it, blasting spray across the jade waters.
The only people there this morning are the Bronte Splashers, members of the winter swimming club, dominated by older men in blue budgies and caps. And there we are giggling with excitement. The water is icy, exhilarating and joyful. We hold each other at the side wall, arm in arm. We're squealing in delight, seduced by the roaring surf, the light and deep cathartic cleanse of the ocean.
Dried off, we wander off along the coastal walk, past the gorgeous narcissists playing beach volley ball, the cascading streams of joggers, supermodels, surfers and tourists drifting along this exquisite part of the city. I have just had a knee to toe caste removed from a broken left ankle, incurred while kicking a soccer ball around with my boy, so I am fragile and hobbling around with a walking stick. But on this day I need to be by the ocean, and with him, regardless of the pain.
The warm sun drifts across the playground. Among the young single men, preening and flirting bare-chested and drinking beers, you can spot another species of male, if you know what to look for.
The first feature of single dads at play is that they may have only one child, because they have separated within the first ten years of union. They are quiet, unobtrusive and present for their children, who love them dearly. The fathers walk close to their offspring, or carry them on their shoulders. I am moved by the palpable love they radiate for their kids, by a sense of the aloneness and suffering that has marked them with a wound to the heart. I see many men like this on today, Father's Day.
Their sadness speaks of broken heartedness, but is worn silently. And it is precisely this silence that marks them out as transformed men. They are serving love in-spite of the mistakes they may have made with their partners. I honour them for this.
On the drive home with the moon glowing over blue mountains and my son asleep on the back seat, my tears fall; for what is lost, what our children must endure, for the broken dreams of loving and distant hope that we will be celebrated and loved again for who we are.
These fathers are of course myself, as much as the splashers or the surfers, or the endless stream of visitors who enjoyed the early spring sun at little city beach called Bronte. That our children know who we are: This is the deep blessing of Father's Day."
Mic Clarke. Courtesy of The Weekend Australian. 'Lifelines' Sept. 2010.
Powerful words Ric. Thanks for sharing.
We had another moving moment in time this morning at our M.A.D. (make a difference) Breakfast in Maleny. A room full of women and one man. Theme: Dads.
We heard of Fathers who were there for their family and those who weren't. Dads who were running marathons in their 'golden' years and others 'lost' to alzheimers. Busy Dads and distant Dads. Biological and adopted ones. Scary ones and cuddly ones.
It was a beautiful morning and in our sharing about these first men in our lives we connected in a room full of women and one man with each other. ♥
Thanks huggers for your comments. Nothing quite like a hug to bring people together!
See you next time on patrol..... ♥
Glad you are doing well :-)
cyberhug :-)
Miss you and hope your new home is going well!
This is the BEST cake I've ever seen - I LOVE rainbows :) xx